Grandparents have taken a new role with the current trends in the family. Grandparents used to be providers of extra care and attention to their grandchildren, especially for toddlers and preschoolers. They would usually get the task of taking young children to school while their parents are at work.

However, with the rise of divorce in Australia, grandparents have become more than caregivers and extra hand to their grandchildren. They sometimes take the full responsibility of rearing their grandchildren who are caught between the divorce of their parents.

If you are a grandparent who is currently providing support to your adult child and was given the role of caring for your grandchildren, take a look at these tips to make the role lighter and less stressful.

Strengthen Your Relationship with Your Grandchildren

Grandparents are generally a constant source of tasty homemade dishes, fun, comfort, and lots of love for their grandchildren. Your presence will provide a sense of assurance and comfort to your grandchildren in these trying times.

When you are with your grandchildren, act normally and do your usual activities or routines. If you regularly visit your grandchildren, stick to the schedule as much as possible. If this is not possible during the divorce process, you can still spend time with your grandchildren through phone conversations or live video chats.

If they are staying with you, all the more that you have ample time to strengthen your bond with them. If you do not have a close relationship with your grandchildren, now is the right time to slowly build the relationship with them but do not force it. Just be there for them whenever they need your help or your presence.

Stay Neutral with the Circumstances

You surely have a stronger affinity or bond with your adult child as opposed to the other parent of your grandchildren. You will surely have biases. However, no matter how bad you feel towards the other parent, stay neutral in the presence of your grandchildren.

Saying something negative or against the other parent may spur ill feelings from your grandchildren towards you. When talking about the divorce or the other parent, maintain a positive attitude or at least remain neutral.

Do not force your grandchildren to give out their comments about the divorce. Wait for them to initiate the conversation regarding the topic on their own volition and time. If you notice something to be concerned about, talk to the parents first.

Remain Cordial with the Other Parent

No matter the situation, the other parent will remain a part of your grandchildren’s lives and in the life of your adult child as one of the parents. This is particularly true if the other parent shares parenting with your adult child or takes full sole custody of the children.

At one point or another, you will inevitably interact with the other parent so it would be best to remain cordial with him or her. There would be times when you need to coordinate with the other parent, such as during special events or milestones of your grandchildren.

Be Understanding with New Arrangements

As sad as it may sound, the divorce would change the usual arrangements within the family. When you can easily join the family before during birthdays, holidays, and big events, having new living arrangements brought about by the divorce may necessitate for your grandchildren to spend special occasions with one of the parents.

The new arrangements can mean lesser opportunities for you to be with them on special occasions. It may sting a bit, but you just have to accept the situation and the fact that times have changed and you would have to contend with the new setup.

Continue to Radiate Peace and Love

Divorce and separation can be stressful not just for the former couple but also (and sometimes, most especially) for the children. The entire process can be confusing and painful for them, and children deal with such emotions in different ways.

To help the situation, emanate peace and love. Remain calm when things get too stressful for them. Continue to provide love and comfort, but at the same time provide the emotional space that they need at this time. You may recommend getting a psychologist or a counsellor if you find it suitable for the children. Stay as loving as you are and constantly remind your grandchildren that you are there whenever they need you for care and support.