In relationships, divorce should be a last recourse and should only be a solution when all else have failed. Before getting a divorce, consider some important aspects as it will impact your life and the lives of those around you, such as your children and your immediate family. Below are some of the things that you might want to consider prior to finalizing your decision:
To Do:
Contemplate
A divorce is a major decision and should be taken with serious consideration. If you want, take some time alone to weigh the pros and cons of getting a divorce. You might want to seek the advice of your loved ones, such as your parents or close friends just to get a different take on the matter. Sometimes it is beneficial to see things from a different perspective, and to hear from those outside looking in.
Take time to think. If there is still a chance to save the marriage, try. However, if things are no longer working and if it is already taking a toll on you and your children’s mental health and living conditions, then it is time to prepare for another phase in your life without your spouse.
Consider Your Children
Do you have the financial capacity to sustain your children’s needs and can your spouse support your children’s financial and emotional needs in case of a divorce? Can you explain what divorce is to your children and why the need for it?
Consider how your children will feel and think and how the divorce will affect their lives in the long run. Before getting into a divorce, make sure that you can put your children’s minds at ease during the process and you can answer the possible questions that they might ask.
Hire a Lawyer
To ensure that you and your children’s rights and welfare are protected, hire a family lawyer who will settle legal matters for you. In cases where you want to settle but do not want to face the other party, the family lawyer can represent you before the other party and before the court. A family lawyer will guide you through the process and ensure that the rule of court is properly enforced.
Consider Mediation
Legal fees can be financially taxing, not to mention the emotional and psychological impact on your children for the sudden change in domestic arrangements and your peace of mind. Instead of filing the matter in court, consider mediation as it is less expensive and a much simpler process. A mediator will help negotiate your terms of the divorce as agreeably and cost-effectively as possible.
Not to Do:
Emotional Blackmailing
You may be the aggrieved party, but if you want to settle the matter properly and as speedy as possible, avoid doing emotional blackmail and holding your spouse by the neck for the things he or she might have done. Consider your spouse’s capacities when negotiating for financial support and child custody and other arrangements.
Live Like You’re Single
Before the divorce is finalized or while it is being processed, avoid going out blatantly and living like you are single. While it is your right to enjoy your life, it might be taken against you, especially during child custody and visitation arrangements. The other spouse can take it as adultery or concubinage and may weaken your case. The court may also see the money you spend as part of your marital estate and may require you to reimburse the expenses.
Neglect Your Finances
One of the things that you should not do is neglect your finances and financial assets, especially those that are considered conjugal. Prior to filing for divorce, make sure that all the papers are in good condition and taxes and records are updated. It would also be best if you prepare a marital balance sheet to outline your assets and liabilities. This will also give you an idea what you and your spouse will split, and which should be paid off together or as arranged.
Knowing exactly what your assets and liabilities are will help you plan out your budget for the lawyer and divorce litigation. You might also want to consult your accountant for an accurate picture of your personal and conjugal assets and liabilities.
